Can I tell you that this blogging journey is not as easy as I thought it would be? I struggle every day with self doubt, worrying that what I want to say will not be that interesting… there are basically a million reasons running through my brain as to why I should quit. It was even a battle to convince myself to write this email to you. Why? Because I doubted what I wanted to say.
Starting this website over a year ago was on my short list of things I never thought I could do well. I didn’t understand the techie world as much as I thought I should, and who wants to mess with learning computer coding and all that?! Not me.
The Natural Bent
I was reminded this month that my passion has always been for writing. I wrote tons of book reports, short stories, and read poetry in elementary school. I was an editor for my high school paper, while working after school as a news assistant in our local county newspaper. I typed up the Letters to the Editor (before everyone had email), and wrote obituaries. (Can you believe that?!)
I was almost set to go to San Francisco State University to study journalism, to be a reporter, to investigate and interview other people and write about them. Until God pulled me in the direction of studying…about Him.
I ended up majoring in Christian Studies, theology and philosophy at California Baptist University because I needed to know why I believed what I did, not just because my parents told us it was true. It solidified the foundation of my faith, but as I went on to live life, move away, get married, have kids… I’ve always heard a running narrative in my mind, like someone was telling my story, but there was nowhere for it to land.
Right Place, Right Time
Once I decided to blog, and after learning the in’s and out’s of WordPress, the stories began flooding back to me. I gathered the funny conversations with my kids from Facebook and created a page for them on the website.
My point is, this passion inside of me needed an outlet, and I needed to start somewhere (if you don’t start you’ll never finish, right?) But only the Lord knew where exactly that was supposed to be used. What keeps me going are these three things:
1. Communicating is my most natural bent. I need to act within that strength and trust that the details will fall into place.
2. I am my own worst critic, but if I don’t put something out there, I won’t move forward.
3. I am a unique person with my own message, my own perspective, and my own experience. There will always be room in the marketplace for that.
Victory Over Self Doubt
This week, I gave myself deadlines and fiercely protected my writing / editing / creating images time. I set a goal to publish 3 articles this week…and I published 4. All within my allotted time.
Ultimately, self doubt faded away when I realized: I just need to be obedient to my calling. I will learn along the way, how to be a better writer, how to better balance home and family life, and clearing the clutter of distraction and self-doubt to move forward without apology.
I encourage you today to name THREE TRUTHS that you can say to yourself when you’re not feeling productive or meaningful. The truth is, you have the power to affect change in the lives of others, wherever you are in life. Live like your words matter.