Parenting has it’s challenges! Join me and two other real moms getting honest about anger for a special two-part series on learning more gentle responses to foster a loving home environment.
Click below to listen!
Meet the Authors!
A former high school English teacher, Amber is a work-at-home mom of 4 little boys under the age of 11. She is the best-selling author of Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, say Something New. She and her husband Guy own Storehouse Media Group, a faith-friendly and family-friendly TV and Film production company in Los Angeles, CA. When she’s not building sand castles with her boys on the beach, or searching for Nerf darts all over her house, you can find Amber writing to encourage families on her blog at Mother of Knights.
As a trained actress and heartfelt Bible teacher, Wendy Speake ministers to women’s hearts through storytelling and Biblical life application. During her career in Hollywood, Wendy found herself longing to tell stories that edify and encourage women. Today she does just that, writing and speaking, always pointing her audiences to Jesus. Co-author of Triggers, Parenting Scripts, and Life Creative, and host of the 40 Day Sugar Fast. Wendy resides in Southern California with her husband and their 3 ruddy boys. She also ministers to women on a regular basis at Wendyspeake.com.
[bctt tweet=”Figure out what you mean to say before you say something mean.” username=”motherofknights, wendy_speake”]
The Honest Question
What is going on with us and what does God’s Word have to do with us when we’re triggered? Maybe it’s things that our kids do, or maybe it’s more about things going on within us: exhaustion, unhealthy relationships, being overcommitted…
A trigger is actually an opportunity to parent. When we don’t prepare to parent better, we’re going to default to the same angry reactions.
Parenting Scripts are the better responses based on what God is doing in us.
Wendy poses the question: Is it possible that they will behave better when we behave better?
We talk about what happens when we feel like every conversation is a fight with our children. Wendy reminds us:
“You’re not a victim, you’re a mom…Kids bush boundaries and they’re trying to find their own way. They need us to help them recognize better boundaries, and we need to choose gentle words…It’s our job to parent, and it’s their job to push boundaries. Therefore it’s our job to hold to boundaries, lovingly.”
Our Kids Change Because We Change
What is your biggest trigger?
Amber models how parenting is like coaching:
“Ask yourself: What would a great coach do? Authoritarianism is not working… what else can I do differently? Get to the root of the issue and ask the Lord to inspire you with creative ideas.”
Getting Away From Anger and Into God’s Word
1. God’s character trait… pick one thing you need to change in your own life before you try to change your children.
2. Meet Him in the work on the outside as He is transforming your inside. (i.e., fruits of the Spirit)
What would a kind response sound like? What am I going to do when _____ happens? And then tell yourself, “This is what I’m going to do the next time I feel like being unkind.”
My Mom Confession
Around 19:30 of this episode, you will hear my very honest confession. It happened the day before we were about to record this podcast, and I know God is using this situation for good.
Amber reminds us that the enemy wants to condemn us for disciplining in anger, but instead we can allow those circumstances to catapult us toward growth.
Sin and guilt belongs at the cross where Jesus paid for it.
We choose wisdom or foolishness every day.
“I don’t want my kids to have to choose to love me because I was hard on them my whole life.”
Be sure to catch part 2 of this conversation in the next episode!
Connect with Amber and Wendy
Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Study Buddy Devotionals
Click the image to order Triggers
Triggers: Exchanging Parent’s Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses examines common parenting issues that cause us to explode inappropriately at our children. Moving beyond simple parenting tips on how to change your child’s behavior, authors Amber Lia and Wendy Speake offer biblical insight and practical tools to equip and encourage you on the journey away from anger-filled reactions toward gentle, biblical responses.
Click the image to order Parenting Scripts
You want to say the right thing when your children do wrong — trouble is most parents aren’t sure where to even begin. Parenting Scripts is the much-needed resource for moms and dads who are desperate to speak life to their children instead of defaulting to the same old words and ineffective consequences. Focusing on the most ordinary and yet troublesome areas in our daily routines, Parenting Scripts helps parents to craft intentional and well thought out and prayed over words. Parenting Scripts leads parents to a calm place where they can pinpoint their family’s bad habits and choose better ways of dealing with immature behavior — theirs and their children’s.