When Life Hands you a Mess, Make it a Mission
It started with a dream. The dream to be parents.
Like most dreams, in the real-world, they are a fight. They don’t come through the rubbing of a genie lamp like in Aladdin, the waving of a magic wand like in Cinderella, or magically appear like in Mary Poppins.
If you look in the Bible, there was always a fight for the promise. Abraham and Sarah waited decades for the birth of Isaac (Genesis 21) and Joseph probably wondered what in the world happened to his dream while being thrown into a pit by his brothers (Genesis 37).
The dream to be parents is real for lots of families, even those with children already. One in 8 couples under the age of 35 are struggling to get pregnant and deliver a healthy baby for the first time or to get pregnant again. And for those over 35, it’s more like 1 in 6 couples. For those who are able to get pregnant, 1 in 4 end in loss at some age or stage of the pregnancy or birth.
That’s a lot of couples and a lot of loss.
If you have children, then you know what a gift they are, especially if you struggled with infertility.
I never imagined that God would use me to literally help birth the dreams of others. As a three-time surrogate, I’ve carried and birthed five children for three couples whose life-long dream was to be parents.
But maybe your dream is different.
Maybe it’s for a peaceful home, a good night’s sleep, a happy child, a saved loved-one, a steady paycheck, or for a promotion at work. Maybe it’s to birth a new business, a blog, or a ministry.
The Dream is Not Without Struggle
If you ask most people they will say that they have a dream, or at least had a dream. We are all born with God-given hopes, visions, purposes, and desires, but they aren’t handed to us on a silver platter. There is a fight. Partly because there are always obstacles to overcome and partly because the enemy of our soul doesn’t want us to be fulfilled or fruitful.
Whatever your dream or promise is, if you have been in the fight to make it come true, then you know the dream can be real, but so is the struggle.
While birthing the dreams of others and pursuing my own, I’ve learned the hard lessons of how to keep going even when the dream is taking too long or becoming too difficult. It’s so easy to quit and give in to the struggles, loss, heartache, and disappointments, but what if any one of us had quit while on our surrogacy journey?
…there may be five less miracles walking around today.
Through the ups and downs of every day dream-chasing I’ve learned some keys to keep going when the dream seems impossible or severely delayed. I hope they help you too.
Know your why
You have to have a deep and intentional why for your dream. It can’t be surface level. There needs to be substance to it so that when times get tough, you have a reason to keep going.
What’s your why? ___________________
Focus on what matters most in this season
You can’t do everything and be everywhere today, this week or even this month. Identify what is most important in this season in your journey and focus on pursuing that. Maybe it’s trying new things, self-care, strengthening your relationship with the Lord or even taking a break.
What’s your focus this season? _________________
Celebrate the small wins
It is human nature to focus on what is wrong and what is missing. You have to intentionally look for and celebrate the small wins in everyday life. This will keep you grateful and hopeful.
What small wins have you experienced this season? _____________
Find your Dream Team
You weren’t created to have all the answers, be able to do all the things, or travel the journey alone. Look for and invite people into your journey for love, support, and growth along the way.
Who’s on your Dream Team? _________________
There is more to you than just THIS part of your life and story. You have more dreams, aspirations, and avenues to enjoy than just this one part of your life and dream world. Don’t underestimate the other parts of your life and relationships. Value them and realize you are probably living your dreams in those areas already.
Name the other parts of your life that are going well. ________________
You may be in a season that has you feeling down, but I want to remind you friend that you are not out until you choose to be out. Make it your mission and not give up and to continue as God leads you. There is still fight in you and remember, you are on the winning team.
“The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me.” Psalm 138:8a
Tiffany Jo Baker is a caffeinated mom of two teen girls, surrogate mom of five (two sets of twins + 1), mom to two fur-babies (dog and bunny) and wife to one outdoorsman. Find out what Tiffany is doing at www.tiffanyjobaker.com and on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest and YouTube.