Join our conversation as a husband and wife share their perspectives on personalities and how to grow as an extrovert or an introvert.
Meet our Guests!
Brandon and Amy Hawkins are a happily married and expecting their first baby this year. Like many of us, their personalities seem like polar opposites, but they have learned to use their differing dynamics to connect with new friends. Having moved around most of his life with the military, Brandon is dedicated to authentic connection and working together with Amy to build a strong community wherever the Lord takes them.
Personalities: It’s All About Connection
Isn’t it wonderful how unique we were all created? Human psychology has always fascinated me, particularly how we respond to one another.
What makes us feel safe? What makes us feel threatened? What kind of factors need to be in place in order for connection to keep us wanting to come back?
Opposing Personalities? Extroverts & Introverts
Today on the podcast, we’re looking at two polar personalities: extroverts and introverts.
These are not new terms, and most people are aware or have been categorized themselves as one or the other. We also know that our individual personalities run much deeper than these two categories.
Connect with Brandon and Amy
Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Free Enneagram Test (learn your type!)
5 Love Languages – Gary Chapman (learn your love language!)
Introverts in the Church: Finding Out Place in an Extroverted Culture
Sensitive and Strong: A Guide for Highly Sensitive Persons and Those Who Love Them
But for the sake of discussion, we’re looking at these opposites to identify strengths and points of growth; both to understand the other and to develop a deeper sense of empathy.
We’ll talk about marriage relationships, group dynamics, meeting new people, parenting, and what needs to be present in order for an extrovert or introvert to step out of what’s familiar in order to experience positive growth.
Seen, Heard, Loved
Everyone has a basic need to be seen, heard, and loved. Introverts and extroverts tend to approach these things differently, as a giver and receiver.
Brandon talks about feeling the most uncomfortable in silence, while Amy took small steps to overcome her fear of approaching new people. Both types have similar needs, but getting those needs met will surface by different means.
When We Think That “Being Ourself” Is Not Okay
Whether you’re an Introvert and extrovert, your most natural tendencies can be incredible strengths. But if someone has convinced you that you’re not enough, or that you’re wrong for responding the way you do, that is not okay.
There is a difference between recognizing a need for growth and being shamed for who you naturally are. If your natural responses are hurting people, that’s a reason to change – but being made to feel bad for having a different personality is just bullying.
Don’t allow fear, guilt, or shame to keep you in a corner, because whatever your personality, your personal needs are enough.
You were made to shine bright in this world whether from a stage or in a quiet conversation. You have beautiful gifts that were made to bless others.
TIMESTAMPS
7:15 – Healthy vs. Unhealthy Extroverts
11:00 – Learning how we’re perceived by others
14:10 – The Introvert’s Perspective
16:20 – How a Healthy Extrovert can help the Introvert
18:00 – What it’s really all about
19:00 – Connection to the Enneagram & the bottom line
23:10 – Why Jenn falls asleep in action movies
26:00 – Why introverts hesitate to initiate
27:00 – Your spouse’s love language
29:00 – How we can grow in our personalities
31:30 – Watching people… how do you make friends?
35:30 – Plugging in to a new place
Click the image to get Sensitive & Strong!
Perhaps you’re bothered by bright lights or you struggle to tune out background noise. Maybe you’re quick to notice the details others miss or you need more time to process events. You may feel emotions deeply and hear, “You’re just too sensitive. One in five people are HSPs—Highly Sensitive Persons—with the genetic trait of sensory sensitivity. As an HSP, you are not fragile or frail. You can be a strong friend in relationships, strong partner in business, and strong member of your community. Sensitive and Strong will help release the worry that you’re “too high maintenance” or just plain “too much” and embrace the many ways you can be both sensitive and strong.
Click the image to get Introverts In The Church!
Introverts have gifts for the church and the world. But many churches tend to be extroverted places where introverts are marginalized. Adam McHugh shows how introverts can live and minister in ways consistent with their personalities. Introverts in the Church is essential reading for any introvert who has ever felt out of place, as well as for church leaders who want to make their churches more welcoming to introverts. Discover God’s call and empowerment to thrive as an introvert, for the sake of the church and kingdom.
