Raising young men in today’s world can be tough, but not impossible. Monica Swanson encourages moms to study their sons to form real relationships and lasting character.
Wife of a hospital physician and mama of four boys, Monica Swanson lives on the north shore of the Hawaiian island of Oahu. They grow tropical fruits on their land that overlooks the “7 Mile Miracle” spot of some of the best surfing beaches in the world. She homeschools all of the boys, and just launched the oldest off to college in California. Her book Boy Mom: What Your Son Needs Most From You is a widely-read and acclaimed book among Christian boy moms across the nation.
Boy Mom Staying at Home
We recorded this episode while still in the house at the start of the pandemic. My boy was bouncing off the walls for a while until I found different ways to engage his brain. Monica’s oldest is off to college and she is revealing in all four of her sons being at home together.
We talk about how to build a healthy relationship with your boys by doing things like walking and doing things together side by side. Physical touch,
words of affirmation and affection are all so important when they’re little.
“Will they pull away when they’re older?” I wondered? Monica helps to calm my concerns around losing the closeness with our sons as they grow.
“Be a student of your son… understand their personality and love languages.”
Being intentional about what speaks to them will cause them to reciprocate eventually.
Boy moms need thick skin, and gracious responses when they don’t respond how we want.
The Boy Mom Sandwich
Monica mentions the three keys from her book when it comes to interacting with your boy:
“Boundaries will only work well if there are appropriate freedoms.”
We talk about how important it is for boys to experience real adventure. There are positive and negative adventure-seeking activities, so discover different types of “adventure” you may not have realized could be meaningful to your son.
Boy Mom Talk
We need to shift the way we talk to our boys that will lead them into a growth mindset.
When it comes to protecting boys from dangers online and approaching sexuality, we talk about a few great resources you need to invest in today!
When you’re a mom of young boys, it’s tempting to not deal with hard things from internet to feelings to character. If you don’t know where to look first when approaching difficult subjects, pick up Monica’s book today and don’t let the overwhelm get you down.
“Zoom out…” Monica says, “…to decide where you’re going to focus with the young men in your life and zoom in on the things that matter.”
Resources Mentioned in this Episode
Understand the brain of an ADHD child, and how the family can work together to support their heart, mind, and spirit.
Why does envy rise up when others do well? Why do we feel like a piece of that goodness belongs to us?
How to celebrate your fellow moms well without losing yourself.
We continue the conversation about race and how to move forward in our communities to educate ourselves and be open to change.