I’ve been a mother for nine years.
Nine.
They’re supposed to move out when they’re eighteen, right? So the way I figure, I’m about halfway done!
But not really. We just got through the needy, whiny, do everything for me baby stages. Now we’ve entered the needy, whiny, do everything for me even though I can do it myself “big kid” stages. The truth is, each stage of motherhood requires a totally different game plan. The more capable they become, the more I need to adjust the way I parent.
I love that my kids are becoming more independent, but it scares me a little.
No, it scares me a lot.
Not that I’m afraid that they won’t need me, but that when they do set out to try things on their own, I can’t always be there to help. And I love to help! Or as my husband sees it, I love to be bossy.
It’s true. I like to tell people what to do, how to do it, and in the end I feel better, but some of the time it annoys the living crap out of the person whom I just made to feel inadequate.
Why Jenn…why did you do that again?
The patience I need in each stage of life, of mommy-hood, of wifey-hood, is to not have to jump in every time I see a problem that needs to be solved. I have to keep my comments to myself until I’m asked. And I hate it. I hate being stuck in the middle.
The thing about being in the middle is, you have two choices. To go backward, reverting to your old habits, or forward, and learn how to behave in a new way.
Friends, I’m in the middle. And I need to be okay with that. I need to be okay with not having all the answers, so that people actually want to hang out with me. My heart to bless people is often overshadowed by my need to fix things, and that needs to change.
So I invite you to take a walk with me. When you’ve had it up to here with being everyone’s problem solver, step out and walk with me. Let’s walk it off together, because life will move on, and if we need to get away to get a little perspective, so be it.
Let’s remember together the discernment that comes with letting go of stuff (like physical clutter kind of stuff), anxieties that come with perfectionistic tendencies, and lets grasp the joy and peace that God gives when we learn to walk in grace. For ourselves, and for others. Is so much nicer over there, because that’s where Jesus is.
If you need another mom to talk through things, to help you figure stuff out, I’m here for you.
Visit my Personal Coaching page for more information.