Kids Say the Funniest Things…
My kids are spunky. They absorb information like sponges and the things that come out of their mouths are hilarious and, at times, convicting… probably because I can hear myself and my husband in their thought process! This is the place where I share the funniest conversations I’ve had with my kids. Oh please share some of yours, too!
You Missed a Spot – 1.21.14
I was on my hands and knees last night scrubbing every inch of the floor in our apartment, and my 4 year old son points out to me this morning:
Asher: Mama… The floor is still dirty.
Me: Where?
Asher: right here, I can feel it with my hands. I’m just telling you so you know not to do that.
#thatswhatisay #everyonesacritic #helikesthingsclean #cinderellasyndrome
Shopping Assistant – 1.16.15
Back when I worked at my kid’s preschool, I had to shop for all the snacks in bulk. One afternoon, we pulled into the Sam’s Club parking lot, and Asher says:
“My school teacher said we just ran out of yogurt…could we get some yogurt? Oh, and only some yellow bananas, not the green ones because those have yucky things on it.”
#takingrequests #preschoolerstakingcharge
Missed You All Day – 11.4.15
Doing All the Work – 11.13.15
Joke Came True – 11.17.16
Driving to school this morning…
Asher: oh my gosh!!!
Me / Chloe: what?!
Asher: the joke came true! I can’t believe it! …
Chloe: what joke?
Asher: the chickens ???? really ARE crossing the road! That is so cool…
Bucket Dumping Boundaries – 2.5.15
Car Wash – 12.14.14
Mommy Can’t Sleep…Again – 12.22.12
Wanna Real Tree – 12.23.14
Chloe: Mama, I want a real tree. I don’t like the one we have because the branches don’t feel like a real tree.
Me: Hunny, why do you need a real tree? What’s wrong with ours?
Chloe: Because a real tree is better, it’s the correct one…
Me: Who told you a real tree is better?
Chloe: Jesus.
…I don’t think I can argue with that one…
Hurting My Ears – 1.2.13
Justice Has Been Served – 1.5.16
Unfinished Business – 1.12.15
Too Sleepy to Drive – 1.14.15
Dinner Time Saga – 10.3.15
Me: you guys need to eat all your food before you get up from the table or do anything else….Do you hear me?
Chloe: (nods her head) uh huh
Asher: (spacing out)
Me: Son, do you hear me?
Asher: yeah (looking around)
Me: tell me what I just said, tell me so I know you heard me…
Asher: ummmmmmm….(smiles) I love you
#triedhardnottolaugh #hadtowalkaway
Solid, Liquid, and Gas – 10.1.15
All sounds to follow are real bodily functions:
Asher: What’s that?
Chloe: It’s my homework about solid, liquid, and gas!
Asher: Why?
Chloe: Because liquid is like water, solid is like rocks, and gas is like when you burp or fart. Like this: {{{burp}}}
Asher: Ewwwww! And like this: {{{fart}}}
#wow #science #livedemonstration #comingtoalivingroomnearyou
Best Buds – 9.12.15
Chloe went into my room and closed the door…
Asher: :::knock knock::: Chloe! Open da doooooor!
Chloe: Ugh, Asher, I’m reading my book right now. I closed the door because you are distracting me
Asher: But but but….. If you open the door, I will let you pick your movie!
Chloe: Well, just let me finish my 3 more pages.
Asher: ok!
(30 seconds later)
:::knock knock:::: Chloe, are you done yet?!
Chloe: Ummmm, let me see, 2 more pages!
Asher: Ok!
(10 seconds later)
:::knock knock::: Chloe, are you done yet?!
Chloe: Just one more page! Stop it, Asher
(A minute later)
Ok, I’m done now!
(She opened the door and they jumped up and down together)
#siblinglove #hecantlivewithouther #irishtwins
The Police – 8.28.15
Me: Ok guys, you have your belts on, right? The police officer is driving by us right now.
Chloe: See, Asher. You have to put your belt on, or the police man will look at you and take you to his office. Then you will never see your mom and dad again.
#strangerdanger #principalsoffice #notthepolice
Filling Our Buckets – 9.4.15
Kids arguing in the backseat about something random…
Asher: uh uhhhhh! Nooooo, stop it Chloe, you’re being mean. I don’t like you right now.
Chloe: and you are DUMPING my BUCKET!
Daddy: Hey guys, you don’t need to say mean things, what can you say to fill up your buckets again?(whispers a clue into Asher’s ear)
Asher: Chloe, you have a nice dress
Chloe: Asher, you can run really fast!
#bucketsfilled
Awesome – 9.29.13
Asher: (from his carseat) Mommmmm, I spilled my juice.
Me: Awesome
Asher: Noooooo, not awthum, my pants is wet!
The Frog – 8.31.13
Me: Look, guys there’s a frog!
Chloe & Asher: A frog! A frog!
Daddy: Maybe you should kiss him and see if he’s a prince
Chloe: Noooo! I don’t want to kiss him ????
Asher: I’ll kiss him! I’ll kiss him!
#princecharming
Clean Up the Cookies – 8.39.12
Me: What is all over the floor?
Chloe: That’s my cookies.
Me: Are you supposed to have cookies?
Chloe: No.
Me: How are you going to clean this up?
Chloe: We have to clean up the cookies!
Me: Yes, but what do we USE to clean them up?
Chloe: The stick brush!
Me: ???????
(ohhhhh, she means the broom ???? Good connections, Chloe)
Windy Da Poop – 9.1.13
Asher: Mama, I want to watch dis one, Windy da Poop.
Me: LOL, it’s Winnie the POOH, not poop.
Chloe: Yeah, Asher, it’s da poooooh
Asher: (singing the theme song) Windy da Poop, Windy da Poop, la la la la la silly old bear…
Kiss and Make It Better – 11.8.12
Asher: Go Uncle Wich’s house!
Me: We’re going to see Uncle Rich in the hospital.
Chloe: In da hospital?
Me: Yeah, he had surgery on his knee, the doctors fixed his knee because he had big owies.
Chloe: And he has a band aide on it?
Me: Yes, he probably has a really big band aide on it.
Chloe: And I gonna kiss it for him and make it better.
I Love You on Wednesdays – 11.8.14
Chloe: I love you Daddy, all the time, and every day I love you, but I only love Mommy on Wednesdays.
Daddy: Why? Mommy loves you all the time, that’s not nice.
Chloe: ok wait wait wait… ok then, I love Mommy on Wednesdays AND Thursdays.
#daddysgirl #noloveformama #itoldyouso #makeanappointment #hugswantedhere
Cleats on the Feets – 10.30.13
We signed up Asher for soccer, not realizing the perils of cleats when we almost always wear open-toed shoes.
Me: grrrrr, owwww Asher! Son, you have to stop stepping on my toes with your cleats, that really hurts!
Asher: But you gotta move out my way, Mom. You need to watch out!
#alsotrue
The Sun is Awake – 10.20.12
Three year old Chloe was a morning person for sure.
Chloe: Mommy, it’s not time for sleeping because the sun’s awake! It’s wake up time! And I want some cereal
Me: But I’m still tired, I want to sleep.
Chloe: But the sun is awake!!!!
Asher: Wake up time! Mommy, I pooped.
Me: Uuugggghhhh
#theirneedstrumpmysleep
Eating Clean – 10.19.15
We were trying to switch Asher to a dairy and possibly grain free diet to help with his potty accidents. We used this nifty chart to show him which foods are ok, so he muses…
Asher: I cannot have cereal or milk for breakfast, so maybe an egg like this?!
Me: Yes, I can make you hard boiled eggs ????
Asher: And peanut butter?
Me: …sure
Asher: Ok, I’ll have peanut butter and jelly… Because jelly is made out of grapes
#letsreviewsugaragain
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